Bigger Than Fear
By Evi Goossens — travel storyteller & creative freelancer
Februari 2026
Reading time: 6 minutes
During my bachelor's degree in psychology, the subject that fascinated me most was clinical psychology. Reading about disorders, panic attacks, and identity disorders, there was so much I simply couldn't imagine. Maybe that's exactly why I found it so interesting. Especially when I read about panic and anxiety. Today, those words gained images, the theories became experiences, and I felt fear in a way I never had before.
For a long time, I felt bigger than life itself. Especially while traveling. I thought I was invincible, as if nothing could happen to me. Winding through the mountains of Laos in a bus with a sleeping driver. Sailing across the Thai sea just days after it had swallowed three boats.
I've been afraid that something might happen before, but I'd never experienced the kind of panic that made me feel there was no way out.
As human beings, we are products of evolution. We are programmed to survive, even when survival isn't necessary. Our emotions give us insight into these survival mechanisms, and fear is one of them. Biologically, whenever we perceive danger, our brain springs into action—especially our stress response system. Our body releases adrenaline and cortisol, our heart rate increases, and we shift into rapid decision-making. Faster than rational thought. Often, our body reacts before we've consciously understood what's happening.
Yet fear can also deceive us. It can send our body down the wrong path, even when there is no real danger. Fear can be triggered by interpretations or beliefs rather than reality.
As I mentioned before, the brain cannot distinguish between a real experience and one that is vividly imagined. This can work in our favor, but it can also work against us without us realizing it. When we imagine a threat that isn't actually there, our brain activates the very same alarm system. Our body responds not to what is objectively happening, but to what we believe is happening.
One frightening experience can create a vicious cycle. Feeling afraid once can turn into feeling that same fear every time you repeat the same action. Eventually, it happens so often that your internal alarm bells ring, even when there is no fire.
From believing I was bigger than life itself to sitting in an airplane during takeoff, hyperventilating, convinced that the world was about to crush me.
That morning, I had already been trying to calm myself down. But a few nights of poor sleep, a busy schedule, and my period approaching had all increased my stress levels—and with them, my anxiety. At the airport, everything went smoothly. We arrived early and had plenty of time. But as soon as I started walking toward the gate, I could already feel my heart beating faster.
With every step toward the aircraft, it intensified. I made one final nervous trip to the bathroom before taking my seat next to my mom. I watched everything closely: the flight attendants, the sounds around me, the flickering lights.
The plane began to accelerate and tilted upward. My heart pounded against my chest, my breathing became irregular, and I squeezed my mom's hand as tightly as I could.
Never before had I experienced fear this intense. Not because I was actually in danger, but precisely because I wasn't. I don't even know whether it felt worse this time because I finally allowed myself to experience it.
Traveling alone is wonderful—until something happens. Then you carry everything by yourself. Every joyful moment, every frustration, and every fear. There is no space to let it all out. So you carry it alone.
Even the world traveler who seems willing to go anywhere has fears. Even when there is no real danger. We can avoid them, ignore them, or try to brush them aside. But none of that gets us anywhere. It's not about stepping over fear—it's about walking through it. No matter how painful, exhausting, or difficult that may be. Doing it again and again.
I don't know where this fear suddenly came from. But one way or another, I have to get back on that plane. Not once, not twice, but maybe ten more times. Because my dreams are bigger than my fear. And one day, I will be bigger than that fear too. From feeling insignificant to believing once again that I am bigger than life itself.
