There you are, standing with an overstuffed backpack on a strange island halfway across the world. Once you step away from the rushed routines of daily life in the Netherlands, you find yourself teetering on the edge of homelessness.

Five boats sank this week, two capsized. Under the blazing sun, travel photographer Evi Goossens and seasoned backpacker Nina Wind wait their turn for this floating coffin. A random Thai man hands them a small yellow travel pill. It looks like an ecstasy pill from a techno festival. Ready for a crazy trip, I guess?

5,200 meters. Almost the same altitude as Everest Base Camp in Nepal. Growing increasingly sad, I fall behind the group, slowly trailing at the very back. I look up at what still lies ahead. I glance at Manon from Quebec and shout, “I just want a horse!”

“No, this isn’t looking good for you,” my guide said just five minutes after picking me up. I laughed nervously and thought to myself, “Well, I can’t control the weather, so let’s make it a good day anyway.”

Travel journalist Evi Goossens takes a leap into the unknown. These are the raw hours before the start of a long journey—the honest thoughts that surface when everything is about to change. What happens when dreams actually come true? What do you feel in the very moment your life shifts into something new?