Choosing Choices and Choices Choosing
By Evi Goossens — travel storyteller & creative freelancer
Brisbane, Australia — December 2025
Reading time: 7 minutes
Every day is a choice. When you wake up, what you wear, what you eat. Before you even leave the house, you have already made hundreds of choices. Some people say that once a choice is made, it is fixed. I think they are fluid. Reversible when needed.
At least, that is what I think while I am waiting for my next bus back to the city. Standing at the entrance of a koala park I have not even set foot into.
In life, we convince ourselves that we have to do a lot of things. And we are quick to say phrases like “that is just how it is” or “you cannot just do that.” We act as if we have no say in the choices of our own lives. As if, alongside the rules of the game we follow, we also limit ourselves by not even picking up the dice.
People around me often look at me strangely when I decide I no longer want to do something. When I ignore the rules of the game. When I go home at the very start of a party. When I say in the middle of a situation that I am not going to do something. Or when I quite literally go against the current. They look at me as if they did not know there was another option. As if, next to A, B, and C, option D suddenly appeared.
Sometimes it is exhausting to always be that person. The looks that burn into me, with almost visible question marks above someone’s head. Often, it is simply the only way that makes sense to me. Selfish or unrealistic are the labels people like to attach to it. Still, I do not agree with that.
Even though these questions are always present in my mind, I listen to them less and less. If I feel that I do not want to do something, or that I should not be somewhere, that feeling speaks louder. It has been like this since I was a child. When I was at a friend’s house and her mother told us we had to play outside, I would respond, “I actually feel like drawing, so I am going home.” Her mother would say, “Oh, but Evi, you cannot just do that.” Not even a heartbeat later, I would already have my shoes on, thank them for the afternoon, and walk home. Not because I wanted to disappoint anyone, but simply because I was already convinced that my presence does not add value if deep down I do not want to be there.
“You cannot just do that” is the sentence that makes my blood run cold. Why are we so quick to limit ourselves? Fear of disappointment and opinions is the answer. The evolutionary instinct to not fall outside the group. To not be rejected by the herd.
As long as we keep convincing ourselves that there are limitations, we stay stuck where we are. As long as we ignore our feelings when we know something is not right, we keep sleepwalking through life.
Meanwhile, I have been on the bus all morning. Not because I wanted to take a tour around Brisbane, but because I keep hearing from people that “it is a shame if you miss something” or that “it would be a shame to skip that activity here.” The day already started with pressure and obligation. I have to get up early to make the most of my only day in Brisbane. I have to rush to breakfast before everything is gone. I have to do an activity just to feel like I have done something useful.
Hesitant, I step onto the bus as one of the last people, holding onto the yellow metal pole, thinking, “well, I am on the bus now, so I cannot just go back.” We have the choice to believe that. We have the choice to accept it or to turn it around. When the koala sanctuary comes into view, I smile to myself and change my decision just as quickly as the bus that is about to take me back to the city.
The entrance is only a few meters away, and still I say, “I am not doing it.” My heart rate slows down and a smile appears on my face. We choose choices, and choices choose us.
At home, it can be harder to say no sometimes because you depend on more things. Here, I only depend on myself, and I do not owe anyone an explanation. Saying no has never been easier. It is a habit I gladly have. One I am practicing here. And one I hope to hold onto.
Life is a big game that can be over before you know it. Spending time on things that do not give you energy is a waste. Not daring to dream beyond the given rules is a shame. The dice are the choices. Six sides to the block. It is up to you to roll and decide.
