A Title Without Permission
By Evi Goossens — travel storyteller & creative freelancer
Hoi An - Vietnam, March 2026
Reading time: 6 minutes
Why are we only allowed to give ourselves a title once it has been measured? We can only call ourselves smart when school confirms it. Athletic when we exercise multiple times a week. We only say our job title out loud once a boss has given it to us. But since when do we wait for others to give us that title? The outside world decides what we are before we believe it ourselves. Let’s stop doing that. Let’s start giving ourselves the titles we want to carry. Without waiting for permission.
After four years of studying psychology, I was the only one in my class who did not pass my thesis. While my classmates went to their graduation ceremony, I was at home. Staring at feedback. Going cross-eyed from everything that was still not good enough. Ironically, it was my writing. Something my teachers had often pointed out. The part that would determine whether I could become a good applied psychologist depended on writing. Not my reports, not my evaluations, and not my social skills. Those were all good. It came down to academic writing.
Doing research, showing that I could rewrite information from articles correctly without turning it into a story. A skill even my teachers questioned. Something you are simply expected to pass, yet something you will probably never use again in your professional career. On June 13, my classmates walked onto the stage, smiled at their parents, and thanked their teachers. Not because they had the social skills to become psychologists, which many of them honestly did not have, but because they could write well enough, they were allowed to call themselves psychologists.
I have always found this strange. Of course, I understand that certain jobs require a degree, and psychology is no exception. Still, I find it flawed that we use specific tests, like a thesis, to measure someone’s abilities as a professional. I failed my thesis twice and took four months longer than most people. That does not mean I was not allowed to call myself a good psychologist.
But this goes beyond diplomas.
We often need tests, diplomas, and approval from others before we dare to say out loud what we are. An IQ test to say we are smart. Finishing art school to call ourselves an artist. Publishing a book to call ourselves a writer. Winning competitions to call ourselves an athlete. You do not need a marathon to earn a medal. The real challenge is running it when no one is watching. Finishing it without the validation of a medal.
The outside world is quick to say what you are not, simply because they believe you need to achieve something before you can claim a title. Today, I am not only giving that title to myself, but also to my fellow traveler from Canada. No degree, no test, no income from that profession, but simply because I believe that is who I am. And that is incredibly scary to say out loud.
“I am a writer” were the words we found difficult to say. Deep down, we already know it, but saying it to others without tangible proof feels like you are making it up. Still, these words can do more than we think.
In sociology and psychology, this is called a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you are something, you will unconsciously start to act like it, and it eventually becomes reality. Your goals do not define what you do, your identity does. “I want to write a book” is temporary behavior. “I am a writer” is lasting behavior. Your brain wants to stay consistent with how you see yourself. So when you see yourself as the person you want to become, you will automatically make choices that align with that.
People love to put labels on things. The danger is that you start to behave according to the label you receive. Others hear that label and treat you that way as well. That is why it is so important to give yourself that label. Not to wait until someone else gives it to you, and possibly the wrong one.
Do you want a promotion? Tell yourself you already have it. Do you want to win that competition? Then from today on, you are that winner. Do you want to publish a book? Then you are a writer. We do not have to limit ourselves to one thing or one area of expertise. And more importantly, we do not have to wait for someone else’s approval.
You do not become what you prove. You prove what you believe you are. So who are you when you stop waiting for permission?
